Quentin Whistleton-Thynne's Transport Survey
I once had the unfortunate experience of knowing a social climber who went under the monicker 'Orifice'.
His real name was Oliver Mildew Gash - a ghastly middle class fellow who even bought his own furniture.
The Mem Sahb and I once had the unfortunate experience of sharing a railway carriage with the boundah ( how he was ever allowed into First Class I'll never know ).
During the mercifully short journey he bored us to tears with his bourgeois tales of bowel movements or some such drivel concerning the working class birth rates.
It was only by the providence of the Almighty that he stepped out of the wrong side of the train just as the Darlington express was passing.
I believe that's where they found most of what was left of the blighter. Very sad for him. Wonderful for the Mem Sahb and I.
Toodle Pip
Quentin Whistleton-Thynne (Col. rtd)
April 1st 2005
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