Quentin Whistleton Thynne's Living History
Well bless my cotton socks!
That old hammer of the peerage has joined their ranks. Who would credit it? MP for a mining community who selected him for his very left wing views. And now look at him.
I always knew there was something odd about the fellow when he left Margaret off the hook. We were about to mobilise the regiment when it was all but in the bag that he was going to oust her.
Unbelievably he gave one of the most useless speeches in parliamentary history and snatched defeat from the jaws of victory. Just as well really as we would now be governed by a military junta.
However forgive and forget eh? Welcome my lord. It's never too late to see the light.
I'd be really interested in your plans to destroy socialism.
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Youth
In order to sort out the appalling youth in today's society it is essential that they be removed from their parents on their 11th birthday.
The girls should be sent to learn the art of man pleasing with particular emphasis on cooking , knitting and shopping skills. They must be indoctrinated with the idea that their sole purpose on this planet is to keep their men happy.
The boys should be sent to the military and thoroughly grounded in war and all things martial. Anyone showing the least signs of namby pambyness will be sent to a medical centre for re education and possible castration. That'll sort the blighters out if nothing else will.
On their eighteenth birthdays every lad will assume the status of front line troops and be sent orf to the nearest war. Those who survive for a hundred days will then be allowed to return to civilian life where they will rule their wives and future children with a rod of iron and tolerate not an ounce of back chat. The young woman will obey their husbands every whim.
ORDER WILL RETURN OVERNIGHT.
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Immigration
I have absolutely no problem with allowing foreigners into this country.
All women of loose morals should be given a welcoming hand. Swedes, Danes and Norwegians are to be welcomed with open arms but anyone over the seven o clock mark and gentlemen east of Switzerland need not apply.
Similarly the Hun and Frog should be shot for even thinking of setting foot on God's own and Americans should be given a two year psychiatric evaluation.
Toodle Pip
Quentin Whistleton-Thynne (Col. rtd)
April 1st 2005