Quentin Whistleton-Thynne's
Constitutional Comment
God's holy trousers! What in the name of all that's unfairly privileged is that boy Charles up to.
Not only has he got himself hooked to a dredger launcher but now he's turning the whole shooting match into a farce.
When I think of the time and effort I have tirelessly put in to maintain unfair privilege in this country it makes my blood boil to see the finest in the land making a bloody fool of himself.
Why he couldn't the boy pick on some celeb to boff. I mean someone with no brains, tons of cash and nice to look at; a spice girl perhaps.
I was only saying to the mem sahb the other day that if I had my time over I should have married her sister; a cracking girl who never said no.
But there we are. I had to be content with her as my mistress for thirty years until she insisted I made an honest woman of her. Couldn't do it though as the mem was absolutely loaded with lucre and land.
Why can't women be happy with what they they've got. There I was as happy as Larry living off my wife and having awesome sex with her sister. But oh no that wasn't good enough for them. Sod it! I'm orf out with the hunt this weekend to test plod on this bloody silly hunting ban.
As my fellow hunters include the Chief Constable of Walthshire and several High Court Judges I don't really anticipate any problems. Truth to be known we're not very interested in foxes.
We much prefer singling out an animal rights activist and chasing them till they drop and if the hounds just happen to be around so be it.
There have been wonderful, wonderful times in the pursuit of human quarry. I remember once when we cornered a nun. Ahem! but that's another story.
* * * * *
Dash the poll results
Confound it all! Is there something wrong with all you bloody peasants. Don't you realise that by voting against the Charles and Camilla creatures you risk removing royalty from the land? And where would that leave us? In a bloody Blair republic that's where. We need royalty to maintain a sense of decorum - to know where one stands in the scheme of things - a few at the top and the rest underfoot.
It's always been the way since that bloody idiot Plato shuffled off the planet. Think of it. Every worthwhile regime has been hierarchical in structure. From the Church to the Masons to Corporate America to the British Army hierarchy based on nothing more than force of will and superstition has ruled the day.
You don't want people to think when they can be led by the nose. Do you? Think where it would lead to; equality and fair play. All that may be alright in a Socialist shindig but in the world of privilege its a total waste of time and space.
Peasantry need to be led and punished as the occasion arises. God doesn't exist as the 'top of the tree ' to allow for a political system based on humanist preferences. It is God - Monarchy - The Army, me the mem sahb and my dog, Belvedere, in that order that counts.
Every other thing and entity comes a long way behind in the pecking order - including the professional classes and particularly those involved in the fields of astronomy and medicine. Dash it all. I'm so annoyed I'm just orf to shoot a couple of panda's and a few gorilla's to calm down.
Toodle Pip
Quentin Whistleton-Thynne (Col. rtd)
April 1st 2005