Quentin Whistleton-Thynne's Health Section
Now look here!
If God made two better inventions than a pretty woman or a bottle of whisky I've never heard of it.
When they both find themselves in my possession it only takes a bottle of baby oil to make it an evening to remember.
Unfortunately the Mem Sahib takes a dim view of my philanderings so I have to take the greatest care when plying the latest filly fortunate enough to be the object of my attentions.
When I'm not actively pursuing a gel there's nothing I like more than a spot of golf. I only use exclusive clubs of course and the finest clubs money can buy.
Oh I say! That was a fine play on words. Sometimes I surprise myself with the level of my wit. It is a pleasure to know someone like me you know.
It has always been my considered opinion that the best exercise is watching others take exercise.
Recently the only non sexual exercise I've had is following the funerals of friends who decided to take exercise.
However in my army days I will say that my regiment was the fittest going.
Many a rainy day I would sit in my office sipping on the Bolly and puffing on a Havana watching the chaps push a steamroller up a 2 in 1 slope.
My God you should have seen them move after I removed the brakes. Three wafer thin squaddies are a riot of inspiration to their mates.
On the domestic front. I leave the heavy stuff to the Mem sahib. She's quite a dab hand at wood choppin' and Coal loadin' not to mention concrete mixin'.
I tried to get her involved in all in wrestling after a particularly successful attempt to stave off my advances one drunken night. My God she has powerful legs. Like great big walnut crushers they are. I must remember to slip her a mickey before my next incursion.
Toodle Pip
Quentin Whistleton-Thynne (Col. rtd)
April 1st 2005