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"HIGH SECURITY"

I’ve entered Buckingham Palace

And I’ve slept right next to the Queen,

I left before the dawn broke

And no one knew I’d been.

 

I’ve walked into the White House

With Machine Gun pointed high,

A Balaclava on my head

And no one’s asked me, “Why.”

 

I’ve tapped on London’s number 10

And said, “I’ve come to call

To deliver a package from Ebay,

A gown, for Cherrie’s Ball.”

 

They let me in and tipped me

Quite a large tip, I must say,

Then in came Johnny two Jags

So, I just slipped away.

 

I’ve hired a full regalia

And joined in the procession,

The day they opened Parliament

For Tony’s third succession.

 

So you can see I’m qualified

To be labelled a professional deception-ist,

But I haven’t yet succeeded

Getting past my GP’s receptionist.

 

 by Anna Brown.

(Published in the Daily Mail - May 2005)