6666666666666666666

"Christmas 2005"

We all sat around the table

Not knowing what to do,

There was no meat for Christmas lunch last year

‘Cause the turkeys had caught ‘Bird Flue’.

The cows had gone down with ‘Mad Cow Disease’

The pigs had gone down with ‘Swine Fever’

The rabbits had myxamatosis

And the lambs had the ‘Sheep Scab’ severe.

 

Outside all the butchers were crying,

Their sobbing, heart breaking to hear,

They had to refund the club money

That their customers paid in all year.

“What are we to do?”  One butcher cried,

“We are ruined of that there’s no doubt,

There’s no way of us making both ends MEAT.”

“Yes, it’s OFFAL,” another did shout.

 

Back inside we all stared at the veggies

And the Bisto so thick in the boat,

The stuffing balls lay there so lonely

That it right brought a lump to my throat.

Granny Jones she turned up with the crackers,

Uncle Jim, he turned up with the wine,

And Mam, optimistic as ever, said,

“Don’t worry, everything is gonna be fine.”

 

Uncle Tom, he said grace, it was touching,

“Oh! Please God,” he said, “Give us some meat.

You can keep the bread sauce and the stuffing

And the mince pies and even the sweet.”

From the kitchen, there came a commotion

Then in rushed my great aunty Pam.

Uncle Tom yelled, “My prayers have been answered,”

She’d arrived with a big tin of SPAM.

 by Anna Brown.