"Ystradyfodwg Monthly"
our website magazine laughter page
Chuckles
featuring the latest lunacy that made us smile!
Chuckles
Here's a few more offerings for our chuckles page from Maldwyn Jones of Scunthorpe, N. Lincs. .... Thanks Mal !
After a long and serious operation, Lena ended up in a coma. Try as they might, the doctors just couldn't bring her out of it.
When her husband Ralph came into the Intensive Care Unit to see her, the doctors gave him the bad news.
"We just can't wake her. It doesn't look very good I'm afraid," the doctors told Ralph in a quiet, sombre voice.
Ralph looked at Lena and with a soft trembling voice said. "But doctor, she's so young. She's only Forty-Five."
"Thirty-seven" came the weak reply from Lena.
* * *
There were these two labourers from the Emerald Isle working on a building site.
The first one asked the second man. "What's the difference between Joist and Girder?" to which the second man replied:
"Didn't one of them write Faust and the other Ulysses?"
* * *
The wife had become so domineering that her husband insisted she saw a Psychiatrist.
The wife consented, and the couple went to see a doctor.
The husband waited outside, and when his spouse emerged after the hour-long session he asked. "Did you make any progress?"
"Not much," she added. "It took me over ten minutes to convince that man that his couch would look better against the wall!"
* * *
A blonde was racing down the road, when she was pulled up.
A blonde policewoman got out of her police car, approached the driver, and told her she had stopped her for travelling at over 100mph.
"Have you any I.D?" she asked her.
With that the blonde reached into her bag, pulled out a mirror, looked in to it, then passed it over.
The Policewoman looked in to it, handed it back, saying "I didn't know you were a cop, Have a nice day now!"
* * *
and here's a few wonderful Church Notices that have been doing the rounds on the Internet lately...
apparently all these sentences (with all the BLOOPERS) actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:
* * *
The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
* * *
The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.'
The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.'
* * *
Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
* * *
Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care much about you.
* * *
Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
* * *
Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
* * *
For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
* * *
Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
* * *
Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
* * *
A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
* * *
Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
* * *
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice.
* * *
Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
* * *
The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
* * *
Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
* * *
The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
* * *
This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
* * *
Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. is done.
* * *
The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
* * *
Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.
* * *
The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
* * *
Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
* * *
The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday: 'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours!'
* * * * *
* * *
Send your jokes to magazine@treorchy.net or Treherbert-info@treorchy.net
Treorchy.net and Treherbert.info would like the world to know that we insist on taking no credit for the almost pathetic brands of humour that may appear on this page from time to time - but we will always endeavour to keep it clean!
Remember - your jokes published here will be going all around the world wide web!
Treorchy.net and Treherbert.info Community Web Sites reserve the right to not publish any material submitted which we may consider unsuitable.
© Treorchy.net & Treherbert.info Community Web Sites 2000 - 2005 - 2009 www.treorchy.net www.treherbert.info